Blog - Green walks

 

Stay near, but not too close.
Far, yet not out of sight.
In the safe zone.

In my bubble. 

What are safe relationships? How do we thrive when we have lost it all? Have we truly understood the meaning of taking others for granted? Have we learnt our lessons? It is so hard to let our guard down after having lived in fear. When we lose all hope, nothing seems to hurt us anymore. 

It's cold and frozen on the inside. 
No tears left to cry.
When eyes no more seek.
 Even a smile seems like mockery.

When life takes us along dark lonely paths, beats us down till we cant breathe no more, we realize how alone we really are. Strangely enough, it starts to toughen us. We no longer lean on anyone, yearn for anyone nor wait for those we thought we couldn't live without. 

Life becomes mechanical. Time and time again, when we feel things cannot get any better, lightening strikes again, life beats us down, treads and dances all over us - the best part, we don't feel a thing. 

Amidst it all, we hear people say, never lose hope. Miracles work in strange ways. Stars align, and magically, out of the blue, things start falling into place. Days are getting warmer, and it has made me want to get out and run. It's like I have found my long lost friend as the wind kisses my face. The birds are a chirping, the bumble bees fly low. The trees a shiny green. The lake beckons, the sun rays dance on her waters. The mamma ducks with her many ducklings, they all make me want to get out more. 

I'm sure my sister is by my side. I'm sure she listens to the music I listen to, just like we did over these past few years. We started every morning with songs. She would wait for me to get her breakfast. I would massage her legs, talk to her for hours. We would laugh and we would cry. I've lost my best friend, I miss talking to her. I miss listening to her. It hurts. I just hope she is in a better place, away from her pain and misery. We will be together soon, I'm counting, counting days.